Answering the Most Common Questions Adult Children Have About Home Care for Their Aging Parents
With home care being a popular industry that’s constantly growing, there’s still a lot of misconceptions about it. We hear a lot of information that’s completely false and outright surprising. This is especially true for family members and adult children who are interested in home care for their aging parents. Although you may need the service. If you’re hearing rumors and false reports, we can understand why you’re apprehensive about it. To make you and your family more comfortable here are 10 myths we’re debunking about home care for your elderly parents.
1. Home Care Means My Parents Lose Their Independence
This is arguably the most common myth we hear from adult children regarding home care for their senior mom or dad. You see your mom, dad or even grandparent getting older. They start to need assistance. But you’re afraid that hiring an in-home caregiver will cause them to lose their independence. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Myth Debunked:
In-home care for your mom or dad won’t cause them to lose their independence. It actually helps them sustain it. With home care for your elderly parents now have a support system that helps them with daily tasks and everyday life. Home care for your parents will provide them with the assistance and familiarity they need to still be able to do things they’ve always done. Only now they have a highly trained individual assisting them.
Tips for Getting Home Care for Your Parents and Helping Them Keep Their Independence:
Below are tips you can help implement as the adult child of parents who now need in-home care assistance. This will put you at ease knowing your senior parents are getting support. Yet also knowing they’re not losing their independence.
- Sign up with a home care agency that gives you the option to create a personalized plan. This allows you to only receive assistance for the tasks you and your parents need.
- Make a list of daily tasks your parents can still do. Make a list of tasks your parents now need help with. Then make sure your caregiver only assists with the items on the list where your parents need help.
- Sign up for personal assistance care or light housekeeping services. This allows your parents to help with everyday tasks. But give your mom and dad the opportunity to still remain independent in the areas they feel comfortable.
- Think of in-home care as a personal assistant for your parents. Anyone can have a personal assistant at any age.
2. Home Care is Only for Parents Who Have Medical Needs
Another myth adult children have about home care for their older parents, is that your parents have to have a medical issue. This isn’t true at all. Some would argue there are more home care agencies that offer non-medical services for seniors than those that offer medical.
Myth Debunked:
Yes, there are some home care agencies where the client has to have a medical issue in order to receive services. However, that’s not the case for all. As a matter of fact, a lot of home care agencies offer non-medical services. There are countless of them and they can be found just about anywhere.
Tips for Signing Up With a Non-Medical Home Care Agency:
- When searching for home care services for your aging parents be sure to put in the term “non-medical home care services for seniors
- Make sure you clarify their agency offers non-medical services as one of your very first questions.
- You can also verify at your parents initial consultation with the agency.
3. It’s Too Complicated Trying to Customize a Plan
A lot of adult children who are seeking personal assistance for their parents need a customized plan. But they believe it’s too complicated trying to put together a customized plan. This is another myth we’re debunking.
Myth Debunked:
Needing in-home care for your parents and needing their plan customized may seem complicated initially. However, the great thing about home care services is that we’re cut out for the challenge. Most home care agencies allow customized plans that can be crafted to fit the client and their family’s needs.
Tips for Creating a Customized Home Care Plan for Your Elderly Parents:
- Sign up with home care agencies that specifically mention allowing families to create customized plans.
- Have a list of needs for your senior parents prepared. This way during your consultation it’ll be easier to put their customized plan together.
- Verify with home care provider if customized plans require higher payments
4. All Home Care Agencies Are The Same
Another myth surrounding home care agencies that makes adult children hesitant with signing their senior parents up, is that we’re all the same. So if you heard about a negative experience with one home care provider. You’re not interested in any of the rest. This is another myth that’s very untrue.
Myth Debunked:
Unfortunately some home care agencies do leave clients and their families with negative experiences. Also some home care agencies are a lot alike, and have the same negative attributes. However, all home care agencies are not the same. Some home care providers have amazing reputations for being kind, compassionate and professional. There are just as many great experiences with home care agencies as there are bad experiences.
Tips for Finding a Home Care Agency That’s Different and Have a Great Reputation:
- Look up views of any home care agency you’re considering
- Check what the core values and principles are of the home care agency you’re interested in.
- During your consultation meeting with provider and caregiver ask as many questions as you like that will help you determine if they’re the right fit for your loved one.
5. My Parents Will Never Agree to Receiving Home Care, So It’ll Never Work
This myth comes from the reality that a lot of older parents don’t want home care. They don’t desire to receive any type of assistance. Many of them believe in-home assistance is an indication that they’re no longer competent or independent. So it makes it hard for their adult children to hire a caregiver.
Myth Debunked:
These thoughts and feelings of your aging parents are normal and in some instances understandable. However, they’re not accurate. In-home care doesn’t mean your parents will become 100% dependent on others. It doesn’t make them incompetent or even at the end of their life. It simply means they need assistance in some areas they once didn’t. Once that’s understood by them, their guards will eventually come down, and they’ll feel better about receiving home care.
Tips to Help Your Aging Parents Become Comfortable With Receiving Home Care:
- Developing a personalized plan that fits your parents specific needs
- Support your parents when they ask as many questions as they need at their consultation meeting with the home care agency.
- Being with your parents for their first couple of home care visits.
- Making sure your parents are comfortable with their caregiver and have a healthy relationship with him or her.
- Making sure your caregiver allows your parents to perform whatever tasks they’re still capable of doing with guidance and support
6. “I Can Provide All the Care My Parents Need.”
A lot of adult children with elderly parents believe they can take care of them by themselves. Therefore home care assistance isn’t necessary. This myth is dangerous for you and your parents.
Myth Debunked:
As an adult child who loves their parents, of course you want to take care of them. However, it’s perfectly fine and normal to receive help. Everyone can use support. No one person can do it all alone. Trying to take care of your aging parents by yourself can give you burnout. This can result in being physically ill or emotionally drained. That can result in things being dangerous for you and your parents. If you’re their caregiver, but you now have burnout you can end up harming yourself or your parents while trying to care for them. This is why in-home care assistance is important. It doesn’t interfere with your role as their adult child helping them, it supports it.
Tips for Hiring a Home Care Provider While Also Being Your Parent’s Caregiver:
- Sign up for respite home care services. This way you’re simply taking a break from caring for your parents, and you’re still their primary caregiver.
- Hire a home care agency for light duties only such as personal assistance care or light housekeeping. This allows you to still be their primary caregiver.
- Be present at all or most of their home care visits. This way you can get relief while still being there for your parents every step of the way.
7. My Mom or Dad Have To Be Extremely Aged or Sick for Home Care
This is another popular myth adult children have about home care for their elderly parents. No, your mom or dad don’t have to be extremely aged or sick for home care. Are some home care clients extremely aged? Yes. Are some really sick? Yes. However, it’s not the criteria to receive home care services.
Myth Debunked:
The great thing about home care is that the plans are centered around you and your family’s needs. Your mom or dad can be relatively healthy and still somewhat youthful. But if you feel they need home care or in-home assistance, they can receive services. It would just have to be a non-medical home care agency. You could even contact an agency about companion and emotional support services for your parents, which has nothing to do with physical assistance. This could be due to you noticing one of your parents are lonely, suffering from “empty nest syndrome”, or simply because you work a lot.
Tips for Signing Your Mom or Dad Up for Home Care If They’re Not Extremely Sick or Aged:
- Making sure you pair them with a non-medical home care provider.
- Developing a personalized plan that fits your mom or dad needs only
- Hiring a home care agency that doesn’t require a minimum number of hours. This allows you to give your parents a small number of hours for assistance and it doesn’t feel overbearing to them. Since they’re not in dire need of it.
8. Home Caregivers Are Not Reliable
One of the top myths spoken about home care is that the caregivers aren’t reliable. This is a very untrue and unfortunate misconception. A lot of caregivers are passionate and loyal to their role of providing support and assistance to others, especially aging adults.
Myth Debunked:
Are there some caregivers who are unreliable? Sad to say, yes there are. However, there are many that love and adore their clients and truly treat them as if they are their own blood relatives. To make sure you’re giving your parents reliable caregivers, follow the tips listed below:
Tips for Making Sure Your Parents Have a Reliable Caregiver:
- Research the reviews of home care agency you’re interested in.
- Have a full consultation with provider and your parent’s assigned caregiver.
- Ask caregiver as many questions as you’d like
- Ask if a background check was given on caregiver and if you’re able to view it.
- See what type of policies agency have for caregivers that call out, don’t show up or have attendance issues.
- Ask agency if they have a 24 hour contact line where you can get in touch with the office or caregiver at any time?
- Be present for the first couple of visits caregiver have with your parent.
9. Home Care is Expensive
Another common myth that’s said about home care is that the services are too expensive. This is another untruth that gets stated a lot. Although what’s considered expensive can be debatable. Overall, home care for your elderly parents can be very affordable.
Myth Debunked:
Yes, some home care providers are expensive. But collectively it’s not an expensive industry. The price of home care varies depending on your location, what your needs are, and a lot of other factors. The home care agencies that tend to be more expensive are the franchise ones, and the ones that offer clinical care. Nationally, the average rate for home care is $34 an hour. But this can vary depending on what state you’re in. For home care in Atlanta, Ga, which is the metropolitan area we’re located in. The average rate ranges from $26 – $32 an hour. (Source: Elder Life Financial)
Tips for Receiving Affordable Home Care for Your Elderly Parents:
- Planning a financial budget for their home care services before you start reaching out to agencies.
- Looking for agencies that have a “no minimum hours required to sign up”, or very a very low number of hours required to sign up
- Coming together with siblings or other family members to collectively pay for services together.
- Inquire about if home care agency has any of the following programs:
- State waivers
- Medicaid
- Long-term insurance pay
- Veteran discount (if your mom or dad is a veteran)
10. If I Have a Caregiver for My Parents I’m Abandoning Them
This common myth adult children have about getting home care for their elderly parents is very understandable. It tackles the emotional aspect you may feel about your parents needing care as they age. Especially if your schedule doesn’t permit you or your siblings to be the ones to take care of them.
Myth Debunked:
Ideally, we all want our parents to stay young and healthy forever. We want to see them as the superheroes they were when we were little. If they do need in-home assistance, as their children, we want to be the ones to provide it. The reality is sometimes our schedule, adult life or commitment to being spouses and parents ourselves don’t allow for it. We have to hire outside assistance, which can cause feelings of guilt. This is normal to feel as an adult child with aging parents. You may say to yourself, “I feel bad that I can’t be there for my mom and dad anymore.” However, there’s no need to. Home care for your elderly parents doesn’t mean you’re abandoning them. It allows you to give your parents professional support and provide you peace of mind. It also allows you to restore the balance of having a child and parent relationship with your parents as they age.
Tips for Coping With the Feeling of Abandoning Your Parents By Hiring a Home Care Agency for Them:
- Understand as an adult child, setting up in-home care for your senior parents is normal. There are thousands that utilize this service everyday.
- Kindly remind yourself that home care for your elderly parents doesn’t mean you’re abandoning them. It means you love them enough to get help from people who are highly trained.
- Remind yourself that just because you hire a caregiver it doesn’t mean you can never care for your parents again in life.
- Be sure to be active and hands-on with the home care agency and caregiver that’s caring for your parents.
- Join a support group of other adult children who may be experiencing guilt of having to hire a caregiver for their aging parents.
- Make time to still have fun with your parents and make memories with them.
- Listen to songs and watch movies that remind me of your childhood and brings you a feeling of nostalgia.
- Watch videos and testimonies from others who experienced what you’re going through. Some good ones are:
- How to stay strong when watching parents age – by Pamela D. Wilson
- How to cope with parents getting old – by Elliott Connie
- Steps to take when aging parents need help – Dr. Regina Koepp
Debunking these 10 common myths about adult children getting home care for their elderly parents is the first step. It gives you as the adult child a better understanding of how home care works and it brings you a sense of hope and relief. We hope with this detailed and informed list you’ll feel confident and comfortable with setting your aging mom or dad up for in-home care. Not to abandon or leave your parents behind. But to build a support system that genuinely cares for them and bring peace of mind to you.
Alex Comfort Living is a compassionate home care agency that services Atlanta, Ga and its metro areas. Discover all of our non-medical in-home care services designed to bring seniors and their loved ones peace of mind when you visit the “Our Services” page.